Almondbury Casuals Cricket Club Spring Committee Meeting 2000 Minutes

Present: David Pedley Tim Beaumont

Richard EllisGarry Smith

Mark WindaleRichard Pollard

Marc DavisRod Kelly

Bill CrosslandJohn Parry

Will WardGreg Smith (the beast from the M62)

1. Apologies were received from Marcus Longbottom, Tony Hirst, and Rupert Wilson

2. Minutes of the Last Meeting were read to the universal acclaim and amusement of the assembled gathering. There were no matters arising since most had difficulty remembering yesterday, never mind yesteryear. 

3. Fixtures  The new fixture list was presented by Tim for Rupert from overseas. Several new fixtures were warmly welcomed while departed old favourites, recently fitted with nostalgic halos, were mourned. Rupert was asked in absentia to confirm that all the fixtures were similarly confirmed in writing and to circulate the list of opposition contacts. 

4. Allocation of Fixtures  This took its usual scrum format, the object being to avoid the ball at all costs while inflicting maximum discomfort to fellow contenders. New match captains Richard Pollard and Gary Smith, labouring under the disadvantage of unfamiliarity, were satisfactorily excluded from plum fixtures – as were existing match captains. 

5. Members List Several potential new players were identified and details passed to Mark W. It was agreed that key players be contracted to an A list and would be paid by the ECB to make themselves available to play for the Casuals in preference to their counties. The remaining active players would be placed on the B list and would be the second line of defence for harassed match captains in the week approaching the match. The remaining players who were geographically removed, physically unable or mentally unsuitable would revert to the C list of members who still paid their subs but rarely appeared above the parapet. An initial scan of the list prompted a furious debate, at which point the sandwiches and secretary arrived almost simultaneously. Mark W was immediately detailed in to sort it out how he thought fit, and an even more furious debate over the quality of the food ensued.

6. Equipment and Nets Balls remain an issue and bats unnecessary. Nevertheless, Will Ward was to go forth and search diligently for a good deal on the latter while Bill C agreed to find a source of the former which did not take on the appearance of misshapen scuffed prunes after 3.2 overs. Nets had been well attended once and not well attended on six further occasions, players were however benefiting from getting early season injuries out of the way in good time for the really disabling ones expected in May.

7. Annual Dinner By universal acclaim the Woodsome venue won the right to stage the coveted Euro 2000 event against stiff opposition. Rumours of excessive hospitality for ACCC delegates were firmly denied, and the “sexual favours” allegations were clearly unbelievable. A comprehensive list of potential speakers was reviewed in great depth until the subject of payment was raised. At this point Rod was authorised to acquire the services of Mr Cedi Beaumont for a sum not exceeding 2/6d a joke. 

8. Any Other Business The request for AOB was accompanied by the usual indisciplined rush for the bar. This was unexpectedly curtailed by the Mr T Beaumont who, moving rather more rapidly than the Casuals have come to expect over recent years, interjected his not inconsiderable bulk into the door hole and refused to move until his long threatened resignation from the post of Chairman was accepted. Faced with the impending call of “Time gentlemen please” from the bar, the meeting had little option but to accept his decision, thank him for his efforts on our behalf, and try and persuade him to buy a round. 

Mr Greg Smith professed his readiness to accept the onerous role as chairman and the secretarial baton was picked up by Bill Crossland. This being a democratic club, a ballot was deemed totally unnecessary and the meeting closed with time enough to further deplete the Thurstonland beer lake.